Today VE
by RowenRx
Summary: Gabriel visits Sam.


Today

Gabriel appeared in the room, knowing no one would enter in there, he made sure of that. He took a look at the room, the white walls and floor, the white bed with a single green sheet he casted to bring a touch of color in this so white room, the small television who was shut down, the little round table on what were family pictures... then he put his eyes on Sam, his Sam, who was sitting on the only armchair of the room, close to the window without paying any attention to the archangel who just arrived. Gabriel swallowed hard with apprehension, getting closer to him. Once he was in front of him, he snapped to make appear a chair and sat. he noticed with no surprise that Sam wasn't giving him any word or look but that didn't hurt him. He gave him his best smile.

"Hello my Sammy! It's been a long time since the last time we saw each other. I'm sorry for not coming sooner but as you can see, I didn't forget you. It's just that I had so many things to do and couldn't have a moment for myself. You get it?"

Sam didn't move but no surprise there. He knew it was going to happen.

"But the good new about the fact that I went missing is that I have so many things to tell you. Honestly, isn't that nice of me to tell you all my adventures? It's good that I'm here for you. But I have to warn you, I will only say things once so you'd better listen to everything closely because it's very interesting. So, first of all, I visited Kali."

He noticed a nervous tic on the hunter, tiny but noticeable for a non-human eye, when he heard that name. _Obviously._ Sam could ignore him as much as he wanted but he couldn't hide the fear the worry he was victim of everytime, and he couldn't hide his fear he had of the goddess and what she could do to Gabriel. He found that adorable that Sam was worried about him without wanting to be intrusive anyway and he knew he had to talk about Kali to get the hunter attention.

"I think she forgave me for lying to her about me and the fact that I never went back with her after all of that. She wanted to have sex with me but I stayed strong and made sure she would understand that I am an archangel in a relationship and that I was faithful in it. She didn't want to believe me, I wonder why. Anyway, we talked a lot after that. She talk to me about all the divinities you didn't kill, and I talk to her about Dean, Castiel, Rowena... It was hard to left her, she didn't want me to. But as you can see, I won to escape her claws."

Sam kept quiet, making no other sound than his breathing. Actually, if Gabriel just stopped moving on his chair because of his discomfort and decided to focus a little, he could hear his eyelashes sliding on the top of his cheekbones, his heart beating in his chest, his blood pulsing in his veins... Gabriel had love listening to all this tiny sounds of Sam body because it reassuring him that he was alive but he has stopped it a long time ago because it kept remembering him that he was also a mortal. The archangel tried a smile but he knew he was actually wincing. He closed his eyes and stayed quiet for a long time before talking again.

"I went to Heaven also... You should see. It starting to look again like the happy mess it was before. Angels are born every days now and Jack is doing a good job at the top of all of it since his cameback and Castiel raise them all very well. Angels seems to have forgotten there have been other archangels and even a God. You know, they all look happy, even those who were already there before all those reborns... I still don't want to go back there, to join them, I'm not ready for that. I still don't belong there, not now."

He waited for a reaction from Sam but there still wasn't, no surprise.

"I found Dean too when I visited. I could have take time for it but he couldn't hide so long. He's getting bored on his own so he keeps getting out and create a huge mess everytime. You should see all the angels panicking everytime they hear the alarm. They know it's him and they know he's going to give them a hard time. Castiel does his best not to get angry against him, it's adorable. If I had hear that angels could lose control of Heaven that easily, I wouldn't have believe it, but there is Dean. I think he would set Heaven on fire if Castiel wasn't here to take are of him. We also took care to free Castiel from his curse and I can promise you all Heaven noticed. They're both happy..."

He looked down at his own hands, surprised to see that they were so edgy and trembling, twisted together. He knew why he was like that. He had to say it, to stop it all. _Not now._ He just couldn't.

"My aunt visited too. It was weird. I still thought she was like my Father but actually, she wasn't... She said she thought Castiel was doing great."

He look up at Sam.

"Having a conversaion with him was hard. You understang, I hope so. The last time I've seen her, my Father, brothers and I locked her up with the intention to let her that way for ever. I thought she would be angry at me. I still am against those who hurt me and they're long dead." Sam gave him a very short look and Gabriel knew he just understood. "I think she knows. I made sure no one would notice what I was doing but I'm pratically sure she got it. Anyway, she didn't say anything. She didn't have to, I can understand what she was thinking, I know she want me to stop."

He started to rock from back to front on his chair, flustered and stressed. He could felt that Sam was waiting for him to continue and that he couldn't go back now.

"I'm scared Sam. I'm scared about what could happen then, I'm scared of being alone. At least, when I'm here, with you, in this room, I'm not that alone, everything's okay. It's true that for you, it's always the same thing but maybe you noticed that I was tryng to change some little things, right? Not too much because I don't want anyone else to notice but I know you notied, you're so smart. I just want you to stay with me, at least for today. Just _today_. That's why today have to continue, you understand? I _know_ what will happen tomorrow and it scares me. I can't handle it. I can't go back, not now, and I will be all alone."

He still got no answer.

"Maybe you hate me... That you don't love me anymore after all this time. It's logic with all I've done to you, like the first time. You should totally hate me." He bent suddenly forward. "Oh Father, I'm no better than them. You're obligated to go through that because of me, I lock you in this day like before. I really try to make your day here better, but it's the same than before. I'm really no better than them.

-I love you."

Gabriel looked up at him and stared at him closely, he couldn't believe what he just heard. He met the old eyes, almost blind and tired of Sam that expressed nothing for the moment. His face was wrinkled and his long hairs totally white. The hunter hadn't say a word for so many _today_ and he just said something again to him when it was so hard for him to do so and more of that he was doing it do comfort him about his feelings. Gabriel took his wrinkled hands in his and hugged them with all the love he could put in this way.

"You say that to comfort me or end your suffering?

-Don't be stupid. I tell you that because it's true.

-But you want me to stop that.

-You're not ready to go back. I can wait for as long as you need."

Gabriel smiled sadly. His lover was ready to suffer this torture as long as he would need it and he loved him so much for that. He shook his head negatively and put one of his hands on Sam's cheek.

"I can't. You don't deserve it. I will let today go. And tomorrow... tomorrow I will guide you myself to Heaven, to your own Heaven. I will let you there and will handle myself on my own. You won't have to worry for anything else."

Sam smiled hardly and put his hand on his cheek, caressing it.

"I will wait for you. I have always waited for you and even there, I will wait for you to come back and see me."

Gabriel smiled but ended to burst into tears, holding his lover's hand and trying not to do it too strongly.

When midnight arrived, it was tomorrow. Before the dawn, Sam fell asleep for the last time and his soul went to Heaven, Gabriel made sure of it. When he had let the soul in it's own Heaven, he left. He couldn't stay, he just couldn't, he wasn't ready. He would come back later to see Sam, he was almost sure of it, he just needed some time.


End file.
